You know you’re a tattoo nerd when…

- You do a double-take when walking by a stack of Beat magazines… just to check out the quality of Tex Perkins‘ dragon.

- You spot a post in a tattoo community asking for images of sacred hearts… and you think, “Lordy, aren’t there bazillions of ‘em?”

- You see a recent photo of an alt-pinup model… and notice she’s had more work done on her sleeve.

- The list of tattoos you hold back from getting is as long as the ones you’re planning to get.

- You’ve contemplated getting an apprenticeship at your awesome tattoo parlour of choice… and quickly remember your lack of artistic ability, plus the fact you’ve sorta got a career already, duh.

- Where others see skin, you see potential mischief.

- ‘Tattoo ettiquette’ means something to you, and you can proselytise on the karmic damnation of copying someone else’s custom piece/getting a sketch from one artist then getting a cheaper guy to needle you - until your friends roll their eyeballs in despair.

- It’s not a matter of if you get a backpiece but when. 

- When others refer to ‘tribal’ tattoos you get annoyed because they haven’t been specific enough… are they referring to geometric, Polynesian, dotwork, Maori, funny swirly bits?

- You’ve weighed in on the whole clingwrap-or-no-clingwrap debate.

And finally… when you’re blogging about tattoos when it’s way past your bedtime!

Implants and Scars, Oh My

When people think of body modifictaion, tattoos and piercings easily come to mind.  But what about scarification, suspension and sub-dermal implants?  Squirming yet?  I desperately try not to, but I do.  Hell, I nearly passed out during a play-piercing display.   Yes, I was wearing a corset at the time and it was terribly warm, but it was the discomfort on the womans’ face that got me. 

So what is it about other types of body mods that make ‘regular’ modded folk so uncomfortable?  I can only speak from my experience, but it’s generally acknowledged that there’s the usual stuff, then the extreme stuff.  Just take a look at how BMEzine categorises the site.

I have tattoos (not small ones) and big operation scars that are pretty flinch-inducing.  But I still get uncomfortable when looking at ritual scarification or split tongues.  And my own reaction pisses me off; I have to force myself to look. Perhaps I balk because I’m unfamiliar with the process itself, or because it doesn’t appeal to me aesthetically.  However, I’m very aware that tattoos and piercings once inspired the same reactions as these extreme mods not so long ago.

I do not know why I am squirmy, considering all the crap I’ve gone through medically.  This bothers me. 

They Metrosexualised My Autobot

They put fucking hot-rod style flames on Optimus.  My dearest, darling, precious, good, brave Optimus.  Oh, I know they stayed within his red-and-blue colour scheme, but they’ve given him the vroom-vroom equivalent of a fauxhawk.  The Optimus I knew as a child would NEVER have done that.  No extra trim for him, he’d be too busy being noble and manly (or trucky) and good.

It’s like putting Daisy Duke in long pants.

Like Superman, he’s that fantasy guy no mortal can live up to.   I’ve loved them both since I was about 5 years old.  So yes, the love of my life would have to be a truck, or an alien.  Or a fugitive trauma surgeon born 500 years into the future (latest crush – Firefly’s Simon Tam).

It’s like they let the Queer Eye crew at him. 
They pimped my ride… not in a good way.

Bastards.